Mum left on Wednesday. It has been lovely having her here for so long. I feel sad that we live so far away and that she won’t get to cuddle the little man every week. In fact, I feel so sad about this that I try not to think about it.
You lose things and you gain things, by living so far away. If we lived in the same city, she wouldn’t have come to live with us for six weeks. And that was wonderful. She did such a great job of helping us settling into our new life together. She cooked a lot of food, folded a lot of washing, fed the cats, and gave Felix lots of cuddles and me lots of breaks. And we went walking together, and shopping, and talking, and found a great coffee shop in town.
I have never lived on my own in the same town as my parents. I think that would be quite nice.
There are so many things that I wanted to write but if I wait until I work out exactly what I want to say it will never get written, especially as now Mum’s not here to help entertain the babe, I have hardly any time at all to write blog posts!
Mum was extremely good at soothing Felix. She said it all comes back to you. But I wondered if it was also partly her counseling training. I pointed out to Michael that she never says ‘stop crying’, but instead empathises: ‘oh, I know, it’s tough for a little baby, but it really is ok…’ Validating emotions instead of squashing them, but still helping the little fellow to calm down. Michael got the hang of it and started empathising with the cats too. He was quite pleased with himself and declared: ‘I empathise with all my creatures!’
Having your own child redefines your relationship with your parents. I am only at the beginning of this.
I have also been thinking about my own grandmothers. I am very close to both of them. I have such fond memories of doing craft with them, and watching tennis late at night, and wandering around the garden, and going out for afternoon tea. Having my own child has strengthened my connection with them, too, even though I live on the other side of the world. We have chatted on skype, something we hadn’t done together before he was born, and my mother’s parents are even planning a trip over here in April!
So I’m sure the little guy will be close to both his grandmothers, too, despite the fact that one lives in Australia and the other in Germany. We’ll just have to be creative about it.
My first two days on my own with the little fellow went well. Sometimes he is great at sleeping during the day but most of the time at the moment he’s not that keen on it, so it can be pretty tiring keeping him happy. But he’s still very good at sleeping at night, which I guess is very nice for us indeed.
He is still utterly adorable. He had lots of plays today with a new toy Michael brought back from Sweden.
He smiles and coos and generally looks innocent but this evening he also managed to squirt poo half way across the room. Luckily for me, Michael was in the firing line.