20 weeks

All’s well. Just starting to get a belly that doesn’t disappear in the mornings. The jeans I bought at ten weeks are still too loose though. I’m hopeless at buying jeans.

Last week we had an ultrasound. He (yep, he) is beautiful. We saw him stretch his arms above his head, and cross his legs, and hug his chest, and kick his legs like a swimmer and burrow into my side, and curl up like a kitten with his toes above his nose. We saw his sharp white bones and his startling face. We looked at him and we loved him.

I haven’t felt much movement yet, but they tell me I have an anterior placenta which means I probably won’t feel anything for a while.

Berlin was lovely. Sunshine and parks and long slow breakfasts. And it was so nice to see my aunt and my cousins.

Michael is now in Paris but the kittens are keeping me company. They are such social little things and are both snoozing on the desk as I type. (They would snooze on the keyboard if I let them.)

When I get home from work all I want to do is lie on the couch for hours. I really need to find a job that utilizes my skills more effectively. Still. It’s all part of the plan. And it is not a bad job really. (And I am getting lots of practice I suppose!)

Words seem quiet and elusive right now. But I will try to spend more time with them, to coax them back into my garden. (Funny sentence I know, but that’s sort of what it feels like when I try to write – like I’m sitting in an empty garden waiting for the birds to come back.)

It feels like it has taken forever to get to 20 weeks, and that it will take forever to get to 40. But it won’t, I know. This is the tipping point.

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15 thoughts on “20 weeks

  1. It’s different for everyone, I think. I found my pregnancy progressed at an uneven pace – tediously slow at first, then scarily fast for the second trimester and into the third, then just when I started to think “hang on! I’m not ready!” it slowed to snails pace again (as did I, I suppose!), so that by the time 40 weeks came along apprehension had been replaced by “bring it on! I’ve had enough!”

    I didn’t feel my baby until after 20 weeks either, for the same reason. When I finally felt these tiny little kicks deep inside me I was sitting on the bus, grinning inanely at all the other passengers, trying not to laugh out loud. Enjoy!

  2. Oh, aren’t you CLEVER? Isn’t he lovely.
    I think I was 24 weeks with Fred before I felt any movement, I remember that 20 week scan, seeing her pummelling the side of my uterus with her feet (like a toddler throwing a tantrum) and not being able to feel it. It was at the physio I first felt her, lying on my tummy, which I’d conscientiously avoided doing for fear of squashing the baby.

  3. Oh and my pregnancy with Fred was slooooow. And so was my pregnancy with UNa, perhaps slower. This one has sped by. Slow is hard but good. It used to freak me out after Fred was born when everyone said ‘it goes so fast.’ And they were right and they were wrong, the days are long and the years are quick, which is part of living in an eternal present I suppose.

  4. Lovely for you to share your picture with us. He looks lovely and I’m excited for you.

    The words will come eventually you’re gestating something else at the moment.

    Enjoy. lots of love Liz xxxx

  5. HI Mel,
    Your other Grandma has your baby’s scan photo printed on her coffee table and is showing everyone who comes in. “Have you seen Melanie’s baby yet?” She can’t believe that she can have a photo of your unborn baby from half way round the world via the computer. Very exciting

  6. oooo, wonderful wonderful! very happy for you both. it will be so nice to have a little boy on the scene after so many girls amongst friends and family. since you guys are vego and living in norway, perhaps the oestrogen-fed chicken breast theory has some merit….
    love you,
    B x

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